March Munchies Horoscopes

December 27 – January 20 // Chips – There is a little something for everyone in the chip realm of the world. From potato to corn to the cheesy type that nobody is quite sure what it’s ingredients are, there is an endless variety of options! Similar to chips, the world can also be a vast place with many options. All you have to do is choose which part of the world is to your liking! Choose carefully!

January 21 – February 25 // Granola Bar – Granola bars are an excellent source of energy while being low on calories. They’re small enough to take with you in the car, on a mountain or skydiving. This being known, it’s safe to assume you are an adventure junkie. So go hiking, storm chasing, rickshawing, or whatever it is that gives you that adrenaline high, but don’t forget your granola bar!

February 26 – March 17 // Beef Jerky – Beef jerky is a snack sure to fill you up and help you re-energize. It’s notorious for its ruggedness. Perhaps there is just something a little more rustic about you than most other people. Embrace it, and make it an attribute that will benefit you in the long run!

March 18 – April 30 // Cookies – Cookies are a gift from God, or the heavens, or evolution, or whatever you believe in. They are the most pure thing mankind has ever created. A blessing to the hungry and a gift to the munchers, they are never a waste of calories. You, too, are not a waste! You’re one of the most special creations that could have come about by accident or on purpose. You have that going for you, what more could you ask for? Keep going, you clever minx.

May 1 – June 16 // Fruit – Fruit is the perfect healthy snack. Most fruits have potassium, fiber, and plenty of vitamin C. So many good things can come from eating fruit; similarly, lots of good things can come from you! You provide positivity and support to anyone in need. Keep up the encouragement!

June 17 – July 23 // Chocolate – Chocolate has been around for a very very long time, and it has been said that chocolate solves all problems. This source may or may not be reliable, but I would take this to heart. You are likely the solution to many people’s problems, or you are able to at least help them find it. Your quick thinking and clever scheming has saved many people from the grips of fate.

July 24 – August 30 // Fruit Snacks – This snack is the real deal. It calms every craving, fills up the famished, and satisfies the starving. These delicious little treats are snacks that most people remember prominently from their childhood. You’re still six years old at heart, which is perfectly acceptable. Let your inner child shine by grabbing a box of these next time you’re at the store!

August 31 – September 23 // Pistachios – Snoop Dogg and Kermit the Frog support these green little nuts, so who could be against them? Similarly, you have some pretty awesome people backing you up in your life. Whether it be parents, siblings, a teacher, or friend, there is someone who’s got your back 100% of the time. Thank them, and do your best to have their back also.

September 24 – November 9 // Popcorn – The notorious movie snack strikes again! Whether you like it buttery, cheesy, sweet, or just plain, it’s a classic treat. Your classiness is in direct correlation to this snack! You are a classic man, you got that red-lip classic thing that he likes, and baby you’re so classic.

November 10 – December 26 // Doughnuts – I don’t care who you are, you are the best around. Sweet, delicious and never too much, doughnuts are flawless. You got that vibe following you too! You are a glorious ray of sunshine, and you’re what everyone wants, whether it’s mid-afternoon or the way-too-early hours of the morning. You are craved, treasured, and a delightful addition to anyone’s day.